First Person with Wayne Shepherd

First Person: Christopher and Angela Yuan

Mother and son, Angela and Christopher Yuan, tell the story of Christopher's wandering years into homosexuality and drugs, while a mother prayed for her deliverance, then the deliverance of her son. Send your support for FIRST PERSON to the Far East Broadcasting Company: FEBC National Processing Center Far East Broadcasting Company P.O. Box 6020 Albert Lea, MN 56007 Please mention FIRST PERSON when you give. Thank you!

Duration:: 23m
Broadcast on:: 01 Jun 2011
Audio Format:: other

Mother and son, Angela and Christopher Yuan, tell the story of Christopher's wandering years into homosexuality and drugs, while a mother prayed for her deliverance, then the deliverance of her son.

Send your support for FIRST PERSON to the Far East Broadcasting Company:
FEBC National Processing Center
Far East Broadcasting Company
P.O. Box 6020
Albert Lea, MN 56007

Please mention FIRST PERSON when you give. Thank you!

I really believe that I was God. I felt like I was invincible. Part of that is, you know, because of the drugs. When I look back, you see how I was just ruling myself. A prodigal returns home. That's our story today on First Person Welcome. I'm Wayne Shepard. In a moment, you're going to meet a mother and a son. Both were prodigals. First, the mother came to Christ through her heartbreak. And then her prayers were answered as her son came home to the cross from his wanderings. First Person is here each week at this time to hear the life stories of people who constantly remind us of God's faithfulness and calling. And you can follow us online at firstpersoninterview.com, where there's a calendar of upcoming guests, as well as an archive of past interviews. Again, we're found at firstpersoninterview.com. Christopher Yuan, the son of Chinese immigrants, discovered at an early age that he was attracted to other boys. Years of living as a gay man, drug use in prison, brought him to a place of brokenness. Meanwhile, his mother's life was unraveling until she placed her faith in Christ and began praying for her prodigal son. Christopher and his mother, Angela, are telling their story in the new book Out of a Far Country, a message of hope to other parents of prodigals and those wanting to minister to the gay community. Together, they joined me in the studio, and I started by talking to Christopher about when it was that he hit rock bottom. Well, you know, not being raised in a Christian home. My parents never told me about God. We didn't own a Bible. But I had the secret that I had from a young age. And it was at nine years old that I realized that I was attracted also to the same sex. And I came across some pornography, and that was kind of the beginning of the secret that I kept to myself. I didn't tell my parents, didn't tell any of my friends. I didn't dare tell anyone. I was scared to, you know, imagine having to keep that secret for so long and what that does to a child being afraid, feeling ashamed. Eventually, I acted upon that when I was 16, but then kind of went back in the closet as some people would say. And it was when I was about 23 that I came out to my friends. I had moved to Louisville, go to dental school, and there I came out to my friends, to my classmates. And after a year of being in dental school in Louisville, I decided I went home. This is kind of the beginning of our book then, where I am confronted by my mother, and she just found some pornography. And she asks if I was gay. She had expected that I would kind of push back or maybe get defensive or lie about it. Maybe she was hoping I would lie about it. At that point, I was ready to tell my parents, and I just very upfront just told them, "Yes, I am gay." You know, for my mother, it was crushing below. This had been something that she had feared for so long, and my parents' marriage was a disaster. And as a result of that crisis, my mother was going to end her life. But fortunately, that wasn't the end of the story for my mom, and God brought her to himself because of that. We'll talk more about that. But you stormed out of the house that day that you finally told your mother the truth, right? I did. My mom gave me this ultimatum first, and she said, "You must choose the family or choose homosexuality." Because to her, it seemed of no brainer that I would choose the family. We're Chinese. Family is everything. It seemed like a logical thing for her. She would bring me to my senses. But unfortunately, for me, I thought I could not choose one way or the other. This is not like a light switch. I could just turn gay or turn straight. So for me, it was my parents rejecting me and kicking me out of the house. And so that's why it's so ironic. Perception is everything. For me, I saw it as my mother rejecting me. But when I left, my mother felt that I was rejecting her. Well, let's get the other side of the story, so to speak, because your mother is sitting right beside you right now. Angela, welcome to our program. Thank you for having us. You've co-written this book and tell the story together of this miraculous story of conversion of Christopher. But that day that you confronted him and he confessed and stormed out of the house, what was going through your mind? Wow. That was the worst day I could say in my whole life. Because I did not have the law and I don't know Jesus Christ. And I was devastated. The most of all, I feel so shimmed because being a Chinese mother, you know, our face or our name is everything. In the family, it's everything. So we expect our sons going to grow up, have a good career and good names. But this is all broken. My dream was broken. Christopher, you were in dental school at that time following in the footsteps your father is any good son Chinese son would do, right? Yes. To follow your father's footsteps, but that wasn't working out very well for you. I went back to Louisville and I was going in and out of relationships. At this point, my parents had come to faith as a result of kind of this crisis moment. I thought they kind of had lost their mind, but that, you know, it was okay. We'll get that side of your mom here in a moment. But at least they were still together. So I thought, well, that's good for them. Not for me. So I was in dental school and I began experimenting with some drugs. I was some club drugs, ecstasy. And, you know, I wasn't very wealthy as a dental student. So I supported my habit by selling drugs. Well, before long, I began selling to many, many people, friends, classmates, and even a professor in dental school. And after several years, just actually three months before I was to receive my doctorate, the administration of the school expelled me. And the dream died at that point? It did. For you and your parents, really. Yes. Now, Angela, during this time that Christopher is in Louisville and he's in dental school, and you know that he is living the gay lifestyle. And did you know he was doing drugs at that point? No, we did not. We are so, I felt like we are so ignorant because we didn't know anybody or doing drugs or we have ever seen drugs. Christopher, you not only were dealing drugs. You were living a high lifestyle, weren't you? You were living all across the country, going to parties everywhere. Yes. Yeah. It's so interesting how we never have to look for sin. We don't have to look for trouble. Often trouble will find us. And it drew me in. The high life, the money, the fame, the friends, the attention. You thought it was pretty easy to make money selling drugs? It was so easy to make money. Initially, I started just making enough to pay for my own habit. Maybe 10 hits of ecstasy would be enough to pay for my own habit. Well, before I knew it, maybe just even within the first month, I was selling over 100 hits of ecstasy per weekend. You said you learned good business practices from your folks because you were keeping all the receipts and doing it like a legitimate business. I did. And so when you were busted, the cops found all that, right? They did. I was in Atlanta after I got kicked out of dental school in Atlanta, lived there for another two over two years and became a supplier to other dealers. And all this time my parents were praying for me. Eventually, the answer to prayer came when I got a bang on my door and on my doorstep were 12 federal drug enforcement agents at Atlanta police and two big German shepherd dogs. Good morning. All right. I won't come back to that part of the story, but Angela, I want to come back to you because I would like for you to tell us a story. You and your husband have become believers during this crisis time in Christopher's life. Yes. And you paid him a visit in Atlanta and you convinced him, at least partially, to come to church at First Baptist and hear Dr. Charles Stanley. Tell that story for us. Yes. We were trying to share gospel to everybody at that time when we're a new question. So naturally, we want to share Christ with Christopher and us parents. We thought the best way to share is taking to the church. So when we visit him in Atlanta, naturally, we don't see him in the night, but we told him in the afternoon, I said, "Tomorrow morning, it's Sunday." And could you come to meet us Sunday at 10 o'clock or 9.30? And then we can go to lunch. He said, "We see." I will see. No promises. No. So next day morning, after we arrived to church, we keep looking. You know, what is Christopher coming or if he's coming, but we do not see him anywhere. And it's almost like two words to the end. We saw him walking. He's standing all the way in the back. Then about three minutes, he disappeared. Okay. I want Christopher to pick up the story. What happened during that time of church? Well, you know, to this day, I don't know why I went to church. Everything within me was saying, "I don't want to go." You know, and-- To first Baptist at Atlanta vase places, right? To first Baptist of Atlanta, I wanted to run. And the funny thing was I had not slept. I came straight from the clubs. Oh boy. You know, it must have been 10 o'clock in the morning. And I hadn't slept. I was still in my clothes that I had gone to from the clubs. I was dirty, sweaty, sticky. And I know you're not proud of it, but you actually decided to go to the bathroom? Well, yes. And, you know, we struggled about whether we should put this in the book or not, because it's a little sacrilegious, but it shows what depth I had gone. Right. Well, like I said, I just come home from the clubs or gone to the church from the clubs. I haven't been home yet. And I was bored out of my mind. I was just thinking, "What am I doing here?" I sat there in the back. Didn't see my parents. So I thought, "Well, have you still got some drugs with me?" And so I went into the bathroom at first Baptist at Atlanta, went into one of the stalls. And I took out my pipe. At that time, I was smoking ice, which is very, very addicting, not just snorting it. I took out my lighter. And I did a big hit of ice right there in the bathroom stall of first Baptist at Atlanta. I'm glad you told the story in the book because it does illustrate how you lose all reason, all ability to think clearly, don't you? I did. And, you know, I didn't care anymore what people thought, what I was doing. I say how I really believed that I was God. I felt like I was invincible. I felt I was on top of the world. I mean, part of that is, you know, because of the drugs. And yet, when I look back, you see how I was just fooling myself and how depraved I really was. We'll continue our conversation with Christopher Yuan and his mother, Angela, in just a moment on today's edition of First Person. Next week, a young couple give up life in America to move to Africa to serve Christ. We are just dreaming and even smelling Africa. When I actually am in the village and I'm with the people and when we really get to the people that we're serving, it's like a light bulb goes on. It's where I was meant to be. We're about their dream as we talk with Ben and Melody Paylo next week on First Person. Talking with Christopher and Angela Yuan on the program today, Christopher reached a point where drug agents came knocking at his door early one morning. They confiscated all my money, my drugs, and I was charged with a street value equivalent of 9.1 tons of marijuana. And with that, I was facing 10 years to life. So then, you know, I was sitting there in jail, tried to call all my friends. You know, those friends that said, "I'll never leave your side, I'll be there." You know, "I got your back." Not one answered my phone calls. So as a last resort, I called home and I did not want to make that phone call. I was still imagining my parents as they were before coming to Christ and I was expecting an earful. But my mother's first words were, "Are you okay?" And I'm reminded of what Paul says in Romans 2-4, where it says that it's God's kindness that leads us to repentance. Amen. Not God's wrath, not God's punishment, but God's kindness that leads us to repentance. I know we're skipping a lot of the story here. It is in your book. But tell me about coming in contact with the Scriptures, that Bible story. Yes. Well, you know, going back a little bit before I was incarcerated, I wanted nothing to do with God, nothing to do with the Bible. And on that visit that my parents came into Atlanta, I kicked them out after the second day. I wanted, you know, nothing to do with them. My dad, before he left, gave me his first Bible. Well, after they left, I took his Bible in through in the trash can. Three days after I was incarcerated, I was walking around the cell block and I passed by a garbage can of all things. You know, I was heaping with trash with, it was disgusting. And I looked at it and I thought this represents my life. I was from upper middle class, upper middle of Chicago. My dad has two doctorates. I was on my way to become a doctor. And now I was among common criminals, trash. So I was about to pass by that garbage can. And I looked down into that trash and I found something and it was a Gideon's New Testament. I took that New Testament back to my cell and for the very first time, I opened up that good book and began to read. I actually read through the entire Gospel of Mark. I was going to ask you if you knew where you opened it to, if you know where you opened it. It was the Gospel of Mark. Okay. Yeah, that was providential, wasn't it? It really was. It really was. And so it was that was the beginning. And I looked back and I know for certain that if it wasn't for the testimony of my parents that I had seen real transformation in them, I would never have considered the Bible. I didn't think this was the Word of God. I did not think this was it could do any change in me. I just thought, well, if it's important to my parents, I'll read it. There's a cliche that says something to the effect that we may be the only Bible people ever read. And in your case, it was literally true, wasn't it? Yes. You saw the Bible lived out in your parents' lives, even though it was a relatively recent thing in their life. You saw its power immediately. Their love reached out to you. Absolutely. Yeah. Okay, so you reached a point of faith when? Well, you know, it's hard to say at what point, what minute was it, but it was very gradual for me. I think it was a gradual surrender, mostly because I was so hard-headed. God knew how hard in my heart was and that it took a while for me, not God, but me, to soften my heart. When you were in jail in prison, then, did you renounce the drug use or did it still have its pole on you? It still had its pole initially, but that was the first thing that God convicted me of. As I was reading Scripture, I knew that I had idols in my life, and the most obvious was drugs. I was in for drug dealing, and as I was reading Scripture, I remember reading Psalm 51 the day before I was sentenced, and I felt like David's words were my words. I knew that David's words were my words. Yes, and that I had sinned against God and man. So I continued to read Scriptures, and God was convicting me of all the other idols in my life, but I was still holding on to my sexuality because that was who I was. That's all I had known for years. Even before I kept it a secret, I felt that this was a core part of who I was. But as I was reading Scripture, I realized that my identity is not, shouldn't be found in my sexuality, or in feelings, that God, you know, a passage that had such a profound impact on me was the statement that God has, where he tells us, "Be holy, for I am holy." And I realized that he didn't say be heterosexual, for I am heterosexual, but he said, "Be holy, for I am holy," and what that meant to me was don't focus upon your sexuality. Don't focus upon your feelings, but focus upon me. Focus upon being more like Christ. Everything else will take care of itself. Focus upon holiness. So as God was, you know, showing me how to live and walk in obedience and holiness, he began to reveal his plan for my life. Angela, let me ask you then, as Christopher was gradually waking up to the gospel and seeing your testimony and that of your husband, when did it dawn on you that this man has changed? This boy has changed. See, again, we go to visit him in the prison every other week. We drove about nine hours. We really did not want to challenge him so much. We just want to express our love and care. But however, I always bring Bible verses with me and write tiny little pieces of paper and put in my purse because we're not supposed to bring anything with us. So during the visit, I will share the Bible verses with him. And surprisingly, he did not object. That was the first sign. That was the first sign. Because we really did not want to stuff Scripture or Christianity down into Heathrow. But we just want to share what we have learned because we were in BISF. Bible study fellowship. So every week, we have so much to share. So that's the beginning. You don't want him drinking from a fire hose, do you? You want to blow him away with that kind of stuff? Well, Christopher, I've got to bring everybody up to date. I mean, you did your time in prison. How long were you in prison? Initially, I said I was facing ten years to life. That's serious. Yes, but then I was sentenced to six years. But it was also in prison that I received my HIV status. And that was probably the darkest moment. And I talk about how when you're flat on your back, you have nowhere to look but up. You learned when you were in prison that you were HIV positive? Yes. Did it ever register with you that could happen? I knew that it was definitely a possibility. I was living very promiscuously, having many partners even in just one day. But being high makes you escape reality. And I wasn't thinking clearly. I didn't think that this was a grave consequence. I didn't even have time to soberly think about it. But sitting in prison without any drugs, sober-minded, I realized the consequence of this HIV status. Do you live with that today, don't you? I do. I still have HIV, but God has been really gracious and keeping me healthy. I think God has pre-ordained when we will leave this earth. Until that time, I'm invincible. So you did your time? Yes. And you decided to go back to school. You were not exactly a successful student at this point in your life. No. You expelled from dentistry school, but you decided to go back to school where? Yes. Well, I didn't get my bachelor's degree before going to dental school. So I thought, well, I need to go back and get my bachelor's. So I knew I was called to ministry. And so I called and asked my parents to mail me an application to Moody Bible Institute. And I filled out the application and I knew I needed to get references from people who knew me as a Christian for at least one year. So my references to Moody were a prison chaplain, a prison guard, and another prison inmate. Well, I bet you bolded them over with that application. I did. But God opened doors. Amazingly, you know, God opened the door for Moody. Not only Moody Bible Institute, but subsequently Wheaton Graduate School. Yes. I went on to get my master's of arts in biblical exegesis. I received the Coulson Scholarship for ex-offenders. And now I'm working on my doctorate at Bethel Seminary. Well, I told you when I read your book, it made me cry. And it really had that effect on me. Even though I knew bits and pieces of your story to read your book, the two of you have written, and to think about how God can reach down and redeem all of us. I mean, sin is sin, and we're all as guilty before God is anyone, but he really reached down. Now, I want you to tell, you were known as Chris for many years. You like to be called Chris, but you decided you wanted to go by Christopher. Yes. Tell me why. Growing up, my parents, my mother, called me Christopher. My father called me Christopher. Maybe my brother would sometimes call me Christopher, but I like to be called Chris, all my friends knew me as Chris from grade school, junior high, high school, college, dental school. They knew me even in prison, people knew me as Chris. But as I was being released from prison in February 2001, my sentence wasn't over until July of 2001, but I was on home confinement. It was a landmark for me, and I felt like there needed to be some change, and I loved the story of how when Saul turned to Paul, and that was so significant, and how different people in the Bible got had given them a new name, and I knew God had given me a new name. And as I knew a little bit about the meaning of my name, Christopher, from the Greek Christ bearer, bearer of Christ, I thought this is exactly what I want. I want people not just by looking at my name, but when they see me walking by, whether I open my mouth or not, that they will look at me and hopefully say that I bear the image of Christ. Christopher mentioned that he was accepted as a student at Moody Bible Institute. He went on to do graduate work at Wheaton College and is now pursuing a doctorate of ministry from Bethel Seminary, and he teaches at Moody. Christopher and his mother Angela now travel nationally and internationally to tell their amazing story, their book "Out of a Far Country," released recently by Waterbrook Press. And we've placed links to the book and to Christopher's website at firstpersoninterview.com. In case you missed any part of it, you'll be able to listen again to this conversation online by clicking on the "Listen" button at firstpersoninterview.com. Again, that's firstpersoninterview.com. Well, next week you'll meet a young couple who are following God's call to move to Africa. And now with thanks to my friend and producer, Joe Carlson, I'm Wayne Shefford. Join us next week for First Person. of the United States.