First Person with Wayne Shepherd

First Person: Tony Dungy

Former NFL coach Tony Dungy encourages people from all walks of life to step up and become mentor leaders. Send your support for FIRST PERSON to the Far East Broadcasting Company: FEBC National Processing Center Far East Broadcasting Company P.O. Box 6020 Albert Lea, MN 56007 Please mention FIRST PERSON when you give. Thank you!

Duration:: 23m
Broadcast on:: 03 Feb 2011
Audio Format:: other

Former NFL coach Tony Dungy encourages people from all walks of life to step up and become mentor leaders.

Send your support for FIRST PERSON to the Far East Broadcasting Company:
FEBC National Processing Center
Far East Broadcasting Company
P.O. Box 6020
Albert Lea, MN 56007

Please mention FIRST PERSON when you give. Thank you!

Leaders come from everywhere. That's one of the things that I've really come to realize from my sports career that some of your best leaders were not necessarily the star players but leaders come all shapes and sizes on your team. Hi everyone and welcome to First Person with today's guest coach Tony Dungy. I'm Wayne Shepard and with the Super Bowl right around the corner we thought this would be a great time to sit down with a coach for a one-on-one conversation about his latest book, The Mentor Leader, published by Tyndale House Publishers. We'll get started in just a moment but let me remind you that today's interview and all previous editions of First Person are archived for listening online at firstpersoninterview.com. So if you'd like to recommend today's conversation for instance with Tony to someone just tell them to visit the website firstpersoninterview.com and click on listen now. There's actually an extended conversation which we didn't have time for on the radio found there on the website. Well Tony Dungy makes his home in Tampa Florida and I traveled to Tampa to sit down with him to talk about the mentor leader. I began by asking the coach to tell me when he first saw the connection between athletics and lessons in leadership. For me it probably came in college as I was really looking to figure out what I was going to do investigating other classes that I was taking, taking summer jobs and realizing that a lot of lessons I learned on the football field on the basketball court really applied to life in the business world to life on campus and being a good teammate having goals that were individual goals but putting those underneath the benefit, the good of the team. That's what you have to do in life and I know I refer to my parents a lot when I'm talking to people. I refer a ton to coaches that I've had because they taught me those life lessons all the way through. What is a mentor leader and who are you aiming this message at? I'm really aiming this message at all of us at society. I think we've gotten kind of a backwards look at what leadership is. We tend to think the leader is the person with the most dynamic personality. It's the person who's out front. It's the person who's pushing who is demanding of everyone who has all the information, all the knowledge. They're the boss and because they're the boss they're the leader and really I don't think that's the best way to do it. I think the mentor leader is the person who is really trying to help to try to help his troops, to help people get to their goals. That can be done in a lot of different ways but it's done so much with helping, with educating, with encouraging. A lot of it is done behind the scenes and a lot of it is done without people even knowing that they're receiving it. It's not hey I'm going to this person because they're the boss but hey this guy helped me a little bit and I'm a better person for it. You define it as adding value to a person's life or making a person's life better in many small ways and large ways as well I guess, right? It is that and I think the message behind that is you don't have to be put into the position of a leader. You don't have to be elected, you don't have to be promoted. If you just look at it that people that I run across, if I can add some value to their life, if I can help them do things a little bit better, I want to do that. That can be a 13 year old helping a 9 year old, that can be the boss, helping an employee, that can be fellow assistant coaches helping each other. It can be any number of ways and it doesn't have to be pigeonholed into this person as the leader, this person as the follower. You were telling me that even one of your children, a 3 year old is exhibiting qualities of the mentor leader in daycare. It's really funny, our 3 year old Justin, he's got a lot of older siblings so he's very vocal, he's very outgoing. His daycare teacher said that it's amazing how he just orchestrates people, he sets up the games, he's got him playing football games and even the girls play because he's the one that organizes things. It can happen, it happens at all levels and if that leadership is used in the right way, not to coerce people into following, not to get a group to follow you to further your interest, but to really help everyone, that leadership can be a very, very special thing. You and Lauren have how many children? We have 7 children and they range from 25 years old to 7 months. Boy, that's got to be a challenge. It's quite a spread, but it is, different challenges, they're getting in their 10 years as they get into adulthood, trying to find their direction, different questions obviously, then 7, 8, 9 year olds. But the fact that you're there, and to me that's where mentor leadership starts, really trying to lead your children and help them grow and to be the best people they can be. I understand that being a mentor and a leader can happen rather casually at times, but have you been intentional about that in your own life? I think it really has to be intentional if our society is going to go where it needs to go. I look back at my life, and as a gentleman I mentioned in the book, a guy named Alan Truman, who was 5 years older than me, that really helped spark my interest in sports. He helped direct me the right way, and that was unusual for a 16, 17 year old to really take an interest in an 11 year old. And I found when I got to that point, when I was a freshman in college, I was still looking at the seniors. I was looking at NFL players trying to learn and trying to see where I could take my playing career and my student activities. I wasn't really focused on, well, let me help that 12 or 13 or 14 year old guy that could be following me. And I realized that I got a lot of benefit from the older guys in my neighborhood that I really didn't give back. And at that point, when I got a little older, I realized you do have to be intentional. So you've been a player, you've been on a coaching staff, and you've been the head coach in the NFL. You've learned all along the way that you were a mentor leader in all those positions? You know, I had the opportunity to be. I was a player and played quarterback in college, and so as a quarterback, you're kind of naturally put in the leadership position. But when I got to the Steelers, I developed my own leadership style, and you realize that I had the benefit of playing for Chuck Knoll, who really tried to foster that in all of us, that to be the leader in some capacity, don't just look to him to have all the answers. But we had to be able to solve some problems ourselves. Then on the assistant coaching staff, realizing that you had a certain group of players that you were responsible for, and you wanted to help them be the best that they could be. Then becoming the head coach, the whole team comes under your umbrella, not just the players, but many times the staff, the coaches, the equipment staff, training staff. They're all under your guidance, and it seems like a big responsibility, but I learned early. That started for me when I was still playing, that I didn't have to wait until I became the head coach to say, "Okay, now I'm the leader." You have many examples in your book of mentor leaders in your own life. You mentioned Chuck Knoll a moment ago. He obviously had a huge impact on you, didn't he? He really did. He was my first coach in the professional ranks. I played for him for two years, and so many of the lessons he taught me as a player. I didn't fully understand. I knew some of the things, some of the reasons behind what he said. I obviously did it because he was the coach, and they worked for me, but then for eight years, I got a chance to coach under him and get the background behind things, and why we did things a certain way. Why he chose to lead the way he did, and those eight years of working with him really helped me understand and become a much better leader. You tell a story in your book of coming to the Steelers as this young, what, 20-something, 25 years old maybe? Well, I was 21 when I came as a player, and then 25 when I went on the coaching staff. And you went to him and said, "What's my job?" Yes, you know, we've got tremendous players. We're kind of in the midst of a four-super bowl run, and I'm very young, younger than most of the players I'm coaching. And I said, "Coach, you hired me. What is it that you want me to do? What is my job description?" And he told me something very simple that had a big impact on me. Your job as a coach is to help our players play better. And if you can get them to play up to their potential, you're doing your job. Very simple, very simple. And I had all these things in mind, but that boiled it down that whatever you need to do to help a young man play better, that's what he needs. And for each individual guy, that could be a little bit different. I realize how important that statement was to you, just make those players better, but did you realize it at the time? I mean, this whole book is about making people's lives better. I probably didn't realize it at the time, and it grew, and it coincided with something that my dad told me when I went into coaching. My dad was a college professor and taught school his whole life, and he told me that, you know, the teacher's job was to help every student earn an A. And the teacher's job wasn't to make the test hard, it wasn't to fool you, it was to get information to you so you could earn an A. And he was saying the same thing that Coach Knoll was saying in a different way, and I kind of learned that that was really what life was all about in leading. Whether it's in coaching, whether it's in teaching, whether it's leading a business, is you've got people that are following you, and you're trying to help them be their best. I'm sure as a coach that you encountered young men that did not come from a positive home experience, and yet through sports, through football in your case, they were able to link up with men like you and to learn from them. What kind of difference do you think that makes in a young man's life when he didn't have that growing up? Well, I think it makes a huge difference. I look at my life, and I had my dad there until I was 48 years old, and I leaned on my dad a lot, and I can't imagine not having him there to guide me and direct me, but I still got so much from older boys in the neighborhood, from my coaches, from my teachers, from people that I was around, and all of this that went into impacting my life, even though I had my dad. And now you look at our society now, and half our young men growing up without fathers, how much more important is it to have those people pouring into their lives to those people that didn't get that positive impact very young. In a few moments here on First Person, we'll continue this conversation with Coach Tony Dunchie about his new book, The Mentor Leader, published by Tim Dale. Next time, you'll meet a close friend of mine. His name is Dave Sonati. I sat there with tears in the dark, and I saw something in my mind's eye that I've never recovered from. I saw, if you will, a very vivid scene of the cross of Christ, and I heard a voice that said as clearly as any voice I've ever heard. I did this for you. You'll hear Dave Sonati's conversion story and his call to the mission field of public policy through the American Policy Roundtable, next time on First Person. I'm Wayne Shepard. What fun to sit down with Tony Dunchie and talk about his life and his career in coaching, and now as an author, his latest book is The Mentor Leader. As we continued, I asked Tony if all mentor leaders have to look alike. Mentor leaders come in all shapes, sizes, ages. There's no blueprint for it, but what the common denominator is, is how you go about leading. And the fact that you are really looking to help the group that you're with. That's the bottom line. That comes before even the success of the team, the success of you as an individual, your personal desires. But what can I do to use the gifts that God has given me, the talents, the strengths that I have to help someone else? And I may not have all the strengths that they need, but I can help them in certain ways, and that's why I'm there. If I feel like I don't have anything to give, maybe I need to examine my own heart. You would be surprised, and I encourage people to look back at people who have had an impact on their lives, and it may be just with a one-time moment. I can remember when I was a freshman at the University of Minnesota, there was a basketball player, Jim Brewer, who was an all-American basketball player. And we were talking about life, and he told me, you know, utilize everything you've gotten here. You've got a scholarship to the University of Minnesota. Don't owe anybody anything when you leave. Don't owe yourself anything. And if you don't graduate and get your degree, you will have cheated yourself. And don't do that. 15-minute conversation. It wasn't about basketball. It wasn't about his area of expertise. It was just a 15-minute conversation to an 18-year-old kid that had a tremendous impact. Isn't that remarkable? So being a mentor leader is not just for business people. This is for all of life, even in the church. It's everywhere. And I know originally when Tyndell approached me about this book, that was my first thought, "Well, how can we talk about leaders in business?" But it is. It's more than that. And as Nathan Whitaker and I kind of worked our way through it, it just resonated. This is everywhere. This is on the playground. This is in classroom situations, in high school. This is on the sports field, in the business field, in the church, just dealing in social settings, being a leader in your community. One of the statements you make in the mentor leader that just grabbed me was the statement that mentor leaders don't only work on their strengths, but they work on their weaknesses. That sets us apart. Again, I learned that from Coach Noel, when I came into the NFL, and he said most players work on what they do well because it's enjoyable. He said, "Great players will work on their weaknesses, and that's how they become great." And when I thought about that, that's true. If you're a strong guy, you like to lift weights. You're fast. You like to run because you do it well. But to say, "I'm not good at this, and while I'm going to know what my strength is, I'm still going to work on my weakness." That helps you. And it also helps the people you're leading because that's one of the challenges you have as a leader. What is the strength of this person in my group? How can I use that but still help him grow in other areas? I know character is of utmost importance to you. You think a lot about that work to develop that good, strong character in the men that you disciple and coach. But what are you looking for when you look for character in a person? Well, when I was coaching in the NFL, I always looked for guys who were going to be good teammates, guys who were going to be dependable, guys who it was important to do the right things. That's one of the things that I learned from my college coach. So even in drafting a player, you might look at his level of integrity, for instance? Absolutely. Talent is certainly a part of what you bring to the table, but talent is only a small part of it. And even more determination, drive, that will to succeed, that will to be a good teammate, not worrying who gets the credit or how much money I'm going to make, but how successful is the team going to be? All of that goes a lot farther than talent in determining how good of a player you're going to be for the team. And Denny Green used to have a great line when we'd come to the final cuts and I was on his coaching staff and we'd always say, "Oh, we can't get rid of this guy. He's so talented." And he'd say, "I've told you over and over. It's not going to be the 53 best players. It's going to be the guys who make us the best team. Don't get hung up. Don't get caught up in talent. That's not always what helps you win." And I remember that he was so right so many times that very, very talented player who didn't have the best interests of the team at heart, he's not going to help you as well as the guy who was really driven to help the team succeed. Don't I'm not going to make this an episode of This Is Your Life, but I do want to take you back to junior high school. And the story of Mr. Rockmore, a junior high assistant principal. Now you were obviously very young and he didn't know how you were going to turn out as a person and what you would do in life, but he invested himself in you, didn't he? Yes. Leroy Rockmore was our middle school assistant principal. Had a tremendous impact on my life. I came up through elementary school and really the only time you saw the principal is if you got sent to his office and did something bad. Which I hope didn't happen to you. Not a whole lot, but you associate that principal assistant principal with discipline and they're kind of the leader, but they're in a tower. Well, I got to middle school and we knew Mr. Rockmore was assistant principal, but all of a sudden he's sitting with us in the lunchroom and we've got kind of big eyes. And why is he here? Who's he looking for? What information did somebody do something wrong? And this happened day after day. And we found out that he was just there getting to know us and talking about basketball and football games, who we're playing next week and how we're going to beat them. And what was going on in people's lives? How's your brother doing? Things that I just didn't expect. Well, over the course of three years in middle school, he became a friend as well as the principal. And you know, he laid out the discipline when it was necessary, but we looked up to him and he's taken us to high school games and just different things and being around. Well, fast forward to my senior year in high school and I had a disagreement with the coach and I quit the team. And Mr. Rockmore called me and said, "I want you to come over to my house." Okay, now he's back in junior high school at this point. I've seen him around but haven't really talked to him a lot in the last four years. But he's still a mentor leader. He's a mentor leader and he said, "Hey, here's a young man that I think is making a mistake. I'm going to talk to him. He brought me over to his house. Why are you quitting? You love football. It's been important to you. You're passionate about it." I said, "Hey, I disagree with the coach on this one issue. You can't let one disagreement stop you from doing things you really love. You really enjoy. Think about it." And I did and I went back to the team, but it all started from him sitting down at the lunch table seven years earlier and just being a friend. Think of how different your life could have been if you had walked away from that high school team. I thought about that as I was walking up on the platform to get the Super Bowl trophy after we beat the Bears. You think about who had an impact and yeah, coach Noel and coach Stahl, my college coach and Terry Bradshaw and all these guys that helped me and Denny Green. But then I thought, "Hey, you know, Leroy Rockmore hadn't come to me that summer night and said, "Let's talk." If he hadn't sat down at that lunch table when I was in the seventh grade, I'd been doing something totally different. Can you look back and see someone at every stage of life that God put there? Is that mentor leader for you? I really can and I thank the Lord for it. Starting with my parents. I had educators from parents who thought that learning was important. They also thought that being your own person was important. I can remember my mom telling me, "Don't follow the crowd. Follow your heart. Follow your dreams. Do what's right." My dad telling my sister who was interested in medicine. If you're interested, be a doctor. At that time, most of the advice to a young lady at that point would be, "Oh, go to nursing school." He said, "If you're that interested, go to medical school." She did. Having them in our lives and then older boys helping me to practice and work and develop coaches, teachers who took an interest in what I'm doing. I remember Mr. Bernard and my geometry teacher would ask me, "How'd you do Friday night? Do you have a good game? What did you think about?" I wasn't used to that. The geometry teacher interested in my activities outside the classroom. But all those people had an impact on who I became. Is that still happening today? Do you have mentors today? I do. I do. I talk to several people, especially my pastors, who say, "Hey, how are things going in your life?" I have questions. How would you handle this situation? I still call Coach Green and people that I respect. But what it's made me think is, "Am I doing that as much? All these people that I've benefited from, am I passing that knowledge on?" And to me, that's something that I really made an intentional decision. Once I really realized how impactful these people were in my lives. Coach, when all is said and done, what's the main thing you want us to take away from this conversation today about being a mentor and a leader in someone else's life? Really two points. Number one, the idea of how we lead, that it doesn't have to be from dominance. It doesn't have to be from having the loudest voice. But we can lead from that ability to serve, to help, to lift others up. And then number two, that everybody can do it. It doesn't have to be. Let's look around and see who else can be the leader. What can I do to help? What can I do to make the situation better? Who can I assist? And if I can, then in that moment, I'm the leader. Great lessons from a humble man. Coach Tony Dungy. His latest book is titled, "The Mentor Leader," and it's published by Tindale. We'll place links to the book at our website, firstpersoninterview.com. This conversation with Coach Dungy was actually much longer than what we had time for today on First Person. So we've placed the rest online at firstpersoninterview.com. Just click on the "Listen Now" button for a replay of what you've heard today, or to hear the extended conversation with Tony Dungy. Again, just visit the website firstpersoninterview.com and click on "Listen Now" to choose the file you'd like to hear. First Person is also available as a podcast on iTunes, and you can subscribe for automatic feeds starting at the same website, firstpersoninterview.com. Next week, I want you to meet a good friend of mine, Dave Sonotti, of the American Policy Roundtable, Dave's story of coming to faith in Christ, and his involvement in the arena of public policy will teach us some valuable lessons. Now with thanks to my producer and friend Joe Carlson, I'm Wayne Shepard. I hope you'll join us next time, or First Person. First Person. First Person.