In the Vine Podcast

Joy in Freedom

Happy Fourth of July! ✨ 🇺🇸

The girls and I answer the questions given by our followers:

What's the best piece of advice we've received regarding dating?
Should Christians entertain situationships?

We also discuss finding joy in freedom. Christ died so that we would be set free! But is freedom circumstantial or is it a choice? Additionally, how does this topic relate to delating? Tune in to find out!

Duration:: 46m
Broadcast on:: 04 Jul 2024
Audio Format:: mp3

Welcome to season 3 of In The Vine Podcast with your host, Melissa Chavez, joined by Yassinia, Denise, and Shekinah. This season, we'll be discussing the joy of the Lord, and of course, our monthly and other upcoming events. To find out more, please visit www.InTheVine.org, and if you enjoyed today's episode, don't forget to show your support, and like, share, and subscribe. Hi everybody, and welcome to another episode of In The Vine Connects. It's 4th of July! Yay! Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful. And what's our favorite? Everyone's going to have Yosemite Sam. Alright, I was like, "You're the rudeness to Yosemite Sam." Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I love it. We're so excited to be here with you guys on this 4th of July. We know that you're listening to us, we were just so excited to be come to listen to this. And so we're going to deliver for you guys today, I promise. So anyway, it's your host, Melissa Chavez, and with me today, I have Shekinah, Yessie, and Kat. And Denise is still gone, because she's, as always, we do double up recordings, and so of course, she missed today as well. So we missed her, but we're so happy once again to have Yessie in the studio back with us. And we're excited to have Kat join us. Hello, Kat. Hi. Bringing in. Are you Gen-Z? Technically. I just think of it, Melissa. But we're on trend right now. Yeah, and that's so fragrant. Cool. So thank you for joining us. Yes, I'm all gone. Wait, what's something that you guys say, like, what's like? I don't know. Is it? Can you tell us something that you guys say, like, our generation? Yeah. What does Gen-Z say? Like, it's giving. It's giving. It's giving. It's giving me freedom. No, I need to say that, though. Do we? Yeah. On TikTok, yeah. Do we take it? It's giving. I think we just took it. Yeah. You know, like, I think we just stole it. I think we just took it. I think it's so good. Today, it's giving freedom. By the way, we do have Samari here in the studio, and he's a good helper. He's Gen-Z. Gen-Z, for sure. So what up, Samari? I. Good to have you here. With that being said, today we're going to talk to you guys about freedom. Thank you, pew, pew, pew, pew, pew, pew, pew, pew. And it's going to be a lot of fun, hopefully, it's going to be great. But before we get into that, the questions, picture this being, who wants to be a millionaire, and the music goes, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do. And the lights jam, and the crowd goes silent. Here's the first question. Oh, my God. Don't make fair contact with that. But you really produce. Okay, so the first question is, and once again, this question was picked by our followers on Instagram. So if you don't follow us, make sure you connect with us on Instagram. Our handle is in the mind.connects. Okay, so the question, the second question that you guys voted for, or actually what's the first one, is what is the best dating advice that you ladies have received? This is going to be good. And yeah. So who do I want to start with? Who do I want to start with? Who do I want to start with? I'm going to start with Shikina. Anyway. Oh, gosh, we have a whole podcast on dating advice. Yeah, someone asked you your favorite song, and the only song I'm running your head is Jesus. Oh, my gosh, yeah, the best. There's so much good advice out there, so like not that you've received. I know. I know. But like so much good advice in general that I've heard, but again, I'm blinking. But I think that this definitely isn't the best, but one of my favorites, and I think just because of the season I'm in too, is going to hike together. And the reason is to see each other in difficult situations and in that kind of element, see how they handle being tired maybe, see if they who's, you know, taking the lead, that kind of thing. You see a lot with a person on a hike. They see your flaws. You see their flaws and really just get to see them. How do they handle the heat? How do they handle being in a bad mood or hungry or tired or, and you guys can learn how to work with one another, communicate with one another. And I think that was really good advice. Something simple, but it can have profound effects, I think. I like that. I actually have a friend who when she was in college, I don't know, she's going to listen to this and kind of be mortified, but I hope not anyway. So she said that the guy took her up this hike and it was like pretty hard. She was like all sweating on like all exhausted. She was kind of mad. And she was like dude, like what are we doing in blah, blah, blah. So then he, they get to this beautiful place and it was like this nice little view. And he was like, I just wanted to show you that you could do whatever you want. Like you set your mind to that you're stronger and blah. And that was the moment that he asked her to be his girlfriend. And so it was really sweet. The guy ended up being a total, but I mean the moment I was nice. And he ended up. He put her through something that she had no idea. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know if I would have thought that was cute. Like really? Yeah. No? You could have entered, you that. Yeah. I mean, you could have entered me into like a hot wing eating contest. Mix the podcast. So for those listening take notes, read the room. Yeah. If you're, if you're telling me she was getting angry at Lester. Yeah. I would have been a grad. I was trying this signature baron. Yeah. I don't remember. I actually know, Shoo, I'm going to have to follow up. But anyway, so that reminded me of that story. Wow, that was great. Yeah. So is that good outcome? No, that's not my advice. Next person is a cat. I think my most favorite advice that I've gotten about dating is look, go around that person and their family because a lot is exposed with their family and how they act because you also can't hide anything with your family. If I tried to do that, she'd call me out for a second, she does. You get to see how they act when people push their buttons, where they get flustered because family is the fastest way for your buttons to be pushed. So, so far I like how we listed activities that will fluster and upset somebody. We just wanted some coffee. I just want to just put me in a room with them and after I've had some like strong coffee, I'm going to be like a wrap on it. Yeah, she'd be off the walls. It's going to leave the room right away. The one that sticks, there's only one yet. If you can stick it out. Yeah, I'm just a bit. I'm waiting for you to ask me. I said go ahead. I love your kids' advice and I think on one of the podcasts that's one of the advice that I gave to, because it's true, it's very, very humbling to bring someone around your own family too. Yeah. But one of the biggest dating advice is that I call and I'm super appreciative is just to enjoy that dating, that dating, those dating moments. Like my friend, if she does listen, this is, this is you girl, but she told me when that person, when her snowspouse would pick her up, she would get so excited because she would look out the window, she was getting all dolled up and she would get ready and it was just a whole experience to go on that day, enjoy it because when you are married, and let's just say kids are in the picture, it's a lot different when you go on dating because you're getting ready and they're like taking care of the kids so you can get makeup and lipstick on without your kid getting into your makeup. Like it's very, it's a whole different dynamic and then you're like okay and then they're like the reservations and you're like, but I haven't even shaved my armpit yet. So they see a whole different side of you, you know? So enjoy the, the, not the mystery, but just the, yeah, kind of the mystery, the, the spontaneous of your dating, you know, I hate you want to go over here, you have, let's go, there's no babysitter, like that's, that's an awesome feeling, let me just tell you guys that. That's something that I would say would be the best advice because now looking back, you can just remember those days, remember those days and it's really fun. I really like that actually, I think especially as women get older, and I say, in my case, but you get, for me, like it was always, all right, let's figure out if you're the one, you know, and it was very demanding and it was very like, let's get all the information out, let me see everything about you, you see everything about me, like very business dressing, so I'm not saying I didn't enjoy dating, I should kind of negotiate her own contract, I demand four goats for me, yeah, absolutely, my dad will be well supplied, but yeah, I like that advice of just, it's a different season of your life, don't rush through it, enjoy it, I just really like that, yeah, all that, or just enjoy those, those moments that let's say, if you're dating only, let's say because we're Christian, right, let's say you're only dating for like three months and then you get married, I enjoy those three months full list, yeah, that's really good, best piece of advice that I've ever gotten was, it's not gonna be, I don't know if it makes sense, should I come up with something like you or what, no, but it was, she had coffee, I could tell, or maybe she's in lack of coffee, I am in lack of coffee, what was it, I know this, I know my own answer, it was, I know it's gonna sound probably really silly, but it's pretty much don't make up the stories in your head, so pretty much relax, take it at face value, be in the moment and enjoy it day by day, because me with somebody, I'm like a culmination of the wanting to like business transaction and other things, and so for me, I have to like slow down and really just let the person take the lead, so that is probably been the hardest and the best piece of advice, and not assume one thing is another thing, yeah, we what, and not assume like one thing is another thing, yeah, exactly, like if they said what they said, then take it as they said, and if not, then it'll come out sooner or later, but, because you know, this girl, at least me, I'm a textbook over thinker, and so I'm like, why didn't, how can, how can you put a period of time down, yeah, okay, yeah, I don't, there's somebody in my life that sometimes sends me like thumbs up, or like they put like the K, and I'm like you can't do that to me, you can't, yeah, so I think that's been the best, and it's really helped me when I put into application for like a week, yeah, in other words, assume the best in the person, I think it's good advice, yeah, that's true, which is, and first, is it, first or second Corinthians, it's like love believes all things, and believes the best of people, alright, so next question, now we tell you, go through their phone, okay, okay, okay, okay, now this is totally off script, okay, but do you guys have like the most petty piece of advice for dating that you've got it, I think it'd be funny, yeah, there's so many, oh man, the advice that I've gotten, oh, I've like, I've heard the, maybe we shouldn't answer that, man, I think about it, it's not freedom, you know, simple, I think a lot of them are just like giving the cold shoulder, don't answer back, don't reply, I think that's it, that's probably the most petty piece of advice I've ever been given, play hard to get, play hard to get, or if you're mad at somebody, don't reply, you know, which I think is, for me is ridiculous, yeah, it doesn't mean that we've followed the advice, yeah, no, I'm giving this advice, I've been given, and that I've never followed through with, that's probably the most petty advice that I've ever been given, that I've never followed through with, because you know me, I'm straight forward, I'm like, you know, but yeah, I think that's, don't reply, that's the worst advice that you can be given, is don't respond, if someone's upset with you, if someone's angry, I'm not saying given to their, their pettiness, or their rudeness, or if they're, you know, being disrespectful towards you, but it goes back to in our last episode, showing honor to that person, you know, reply, respond, you reply with honor, you reply with respect, even if it's an emo cheap, you know, honestly, I'm upset right now, we think, I think we need to cool down, let's just take a moment, you communicate, that you need some time, but I think just ghosting somebody, or giving them a cold shoulder, just to prove a point, is absolutely ridiculous, it's childish, it really is, and then, and then out of nowhere, you're like, I just think it's funny how, yeah, exactly, like, yeah, you're not communicating what you need, what you want, and then, yeah, you go off on that, let's go to the topic, anybody else want to just go, yeah, I was gonna say it's good advice, I'm bad advice, what to do not to do now, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, all right, dating question, should Christians entertain situationships, do we know what situationships are, kind of, go ahead and explain, so, relationships are like when you're talking with somebody, and it's iffy, and nobody's declared what the relationship is, if it's a friendship, if it's a prospective person, so yeah, it would be my definition for it, so it's pretty much like the friend's own, well, one is not, well, I wouldn't say friend's own because that means one person put it, put a clear boundary there, yeah, like, I know it, but I just don't know how do we like get in words, yeah, it's a game, that's what it is, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, but it's actually not, it's actually, it's actually pretty on point, is it, it's a noun, it's a romantic or sexual relationship that is not considered to be formal or established, mmm, so, sorry, mmm, a relationship that is not formal or established, yeah, yeah, so, I mean, essentially, it really is what you're saying, and oftentimes in a situation, one of them is like more devoted than the other one is, yeah, and so, with that being clearly defined, what do you guys think, should Christians be okay with that, yeah, because it's a mind game, a mind game that you're playing with a person, and just like the word says, oh, what does it say, oh, oh, it tells the men to lead and to take action, it's like, we kind of just went over in the last episode with one of the first questions, it's like, when you make yourself available and the man, you go and pursue, it tells you to pursue, so, the man who finds a wife finds a good thing, found her, wow, we're gonna play games, yeah, I think on both roles, right, for, and I, either men or the woman can play that role, where one of, the one that's like just, you know, the term like bread coming, just giving enough to keep the person like, keep, keep coming back, and then the other one, where they know that they're, that that's happening, but they still are having like a hard time letting go, so both roles, whatever, whichever way you see it, like they definitely don't go according to God's design, right, both of them are like, very much a lack of self respect, what do you think, yes, I definitely don't agree, especially if it's a sexual relationship, like I said, yeah, it says, actually, I looked it up and then other reforms were saying, it's just pretty much another form of saying friends with benefits, yeah, so I definitely do not agree with that, I feel like it, clear boundaries definitely should be put into place because one will get hurt, like, and a lot of people say like, no, we're just friends, and maybe they do other things behind closed doors or in the car, like, even just a kiss, you know, like you're still, someone's gonna bounce to get hurt, someone's bound to get hurt, so just making sure that those clear boundaries are set, I would definitely say so, it's just out of respect and especially, um, situation is so common nowadays, that I feel like you would be a trendy person if you were in a situation should you get me, yeah, it's really sad, it's really sad when, um, you know, you talk to people and they're like, you know my friend, we're in a situation chip and it's like a badge of honor now, yeah, it really is, it's kind of like, you're like, they're excited, they're part of that, yeah, it's really sad, yeah, it is like a trendy thing, but at the same time, like, I've seen so many people get so hurt because you invest so much time, like, and I, honestly, I'm speaking out of like a thing, right, because it's really hard to walk away from that, like, it's because you're getting, you're getting the benefit of the attention, you're getting the benefit of like, having somebody there, but at the end of the day, like, there's no fulfillment, right, you're constantly like, okay, where, like, where do we stand, where do you not stand, and then, um, some points may be good, some points may be bad, but at the end of the day, like, for me, I had to make a final decision when I realized this is the most dishonoring thing that I can do for this person, like, for me to can, and for myself, and for myself, um, first and foremost, honestly, um, because it's like, we, we both know what we want and what we don't want, so at this point, it's just like comfort, right, and so then, um, at some point, somebody is going to have to make the decision, and oftentimes, I've seen it happen once people are getting like, ridiculously hurt, and they've invested so much time, and they've invested resources, whether it be emotional, whether it be resources resources, like, and so I, for sure, uh, and easier said than done, but cushions, especially, we should not be doing that because our intent is to marry, our dating is to, uh, our dating should be with the intention of marrying, courtship, courtship, and to me it's like, if you're going to be treating somebody, like, in a situation, then you really do not have the fear of the Lord, because that's somebody's, that's God's son, and that God, that's God's daughter, and for, um, you don't want to be, like, strung along like that by the Lord, like, why would you want to do that to somebody else, to me, that's so disrespectful. Another form of situation is when, um, you're in a relationship, and then you break up with them, right, and so the other person that you've had as a, a friend with benefit, or just, you know, somebody that you've been romantically involved with, they come back and they message you, and then you go back to them, and then okay, well, now I'm in another committed relationship, bye, and then again, like, years later, so sometimes people are in a situation for, like, years, I think the longest one I heard was nine years, and, um, the girl at the very end thought this person was the one, and yeah, it was really heartbreaking, but, um, she did this to herself, to be honest, and, uh, turns out the guy, he, he was like, no, you're just, at the very end, turns out he was married, um, yeah, like, later on in the years, never mentioned it to her, and, um, never shared it on any of his profiles that she would find him on, and she was considered, what do they call it now, sneaky links, right? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, but it's really sad because those are other forms, like, that they've lasted from, like, years, like, back when the situation wasn't even a thing, you know? Yeah, and it's like, when you're dating, or not, that's not even dating, when you're talking to somebody, like, how they treat you now is going to be amplified later on, like, right now, if they're treating you like a side piece, then you are, and forever will be a side piece, they're not going to treat you with that respect, and if you don't see somebody treating you with the honor and respect that you deserve now, then break it off. Especially with men, the moment that you lose that kind of respect for men is so hard to get it back, especially, so, uh, to, like, for example, it's easier for a woman to forgive a man that's cheated rather than a man to forgive a woman that's cheated, because that's like territorial, right? That's territorial, that's all these things, and so for a man to see you, like, um, get mistreated, or whatever, at your own doing, where you're purposefully putting yourself in those kinds of situations, like, no self-respecting men, uh, let me take that back, let me take that back, because there is redemption, there is restoration, and there is the work of the cross there, right? But if you're continuing in those cycles, no repentance, no repentance, no changing of your ways, I would assume, right, I can only assume that a self-respecting man would not want to wife that up. Now there's rules to the exception, I've, even now I'm thinking of actually even biblical examples, uh, but things like that, right? But anyway, situationships, don't entertain them, you're better than that, God has way better in store for you, and if you really want that person, because a lot of people are like, "Oh, well, what if the one, that's the one that God has for me?" and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, if that is the case, if that is the person that God has for you, there's no better way to prove that and to test that than to cut it off, yes. Easier said than done, but if you cut it off and somehow, someway, it, like, it works out, that's God's doing, it wasn't, you're mingling, it wasn't, you're witchcraft, yeah, yeah, because it was witchcraft, it's you manipulating the situation, trying to get that person back and staying in their life, like, and so honestly, there's nothing better, like, the best thing that you could do to try to make up to try to see if that's God's will for your life is just cut it off at the past. And that you will find freedom. Yes. And that's freedom. Happy birthday to you. All right. Okay. So you guys. So this topic was chosen by today's sponsor Denise for do's go. And of course, you know, she leaves the bomb and then runs away. So I would I love to be able to do this topic for you. Thank you for the honor. No sarcasm there. So freedom turns into joy. And so we're gonna one of there's a few points that she gave. And so I'm gonna say that and then we're gonna discuss it. The first one is that God wants to free you us from anything and everything that is holding us back from our best from his best purpose for your life. Secondly, God wants to free us from unhappiness, anger, frustration. God shows that Christ has set us free. And Galatians 5 1 it says it is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm then and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery. And to me that's really interesting because I think a lot of people don't want to be Christians because they think that Christianity is boring. But it's like, you know, we constantly hear this like I didn't really start having fun until I became a Christian. And I mean, yes, right different kind of fun. But it's true, right? Like because there is joy and I think this ties so well with the episode that we did last week, right? Because in submitting to God, there is a lot of joy that comes a lot of freedom that comes from that, because now you're living within a safe space. Does that make sense? And so the first G lives want to add anything to that before I move on to the first question. I would just say like, and you're bringing up comparing, like when people say I didn't have real fun until coming to Christ until I became a Christian. Yeah, because there's nothing coming against you like the fun that the world has. Well, what I hear of like everything that happens. It's like you end up in such a worse place. You end up in like this sort of pit. But when people come to Christ and they see like why God has His commandments. And then when you start having true fun and it's clean and you remember what you did the next day, there's a freedom there's a joy because there's nothing hindering that it's just a pure joy. I don't know how else to describe that. No, that's good. Yeah. And so what we mean about like the the fun of the world, right? Because there's other things that world people I guess would say is fun. But what we're referring to specifically is addictions, right? Nobody with addiction. If you have to drink or if you have to intoxicate yourself in order to have some sort of fun, I'm sorry baby, but you are not living in freedom. You're actually living in bondage to that substance, right? And now that substance is actually what's really navigating your relationships and who you become at whatever party. Also sexuality, right? A lot of people are saying have the belief system that it's fun to be able to sleep around. Like I just saw a video that Pastor Mark Driscoll posted about this girl where she was like, Hey, like my body count is 500. First of all, I was like, girl, aren't you tired? Aren't you tired? Come, come, let me cook you a nice dinner. Like take a nap. Like I don't get it. And she's so like she looked really young. And so I mean, yeah, there's judgment here and there but then again, crisis is free, right? But that is the kind of fun that we're referring to. Like on this side of heaven, of this side of the track, that's not the kind of worry that we have to have right where it's just like the bondage that comes with sleeping around being bound to addictions and things of that nature. Okay, so the first question that I have based on the previous scripture that I just read is freedom, a personal choice, or someone else is doing. Meaning, are we victim to other people's choices? Do you want to take that first? Well, I was going to say like God promises that things are going to happen to you. Like things are going to happen in this world. Some people are going to come against you, but he always gives you that choice. You have direct access to God to pursue the freedom and that to pursue any healing in something that happened. God did it for you personally and for the world corporately, but you have access to God. There's no reason why you can be under some some sort of bondage or anything else. Yeah, I think I think I mean, just depends on how you define it, right? Freedom is in like a physical sense. Sometimes we don't we really not sometimes a lot of times that we do not have a choice of what people do to us or maybe our own consequences. Like put us in jail, for example, are you free in that sense? No, but the mindset of freedom is definitely a choice and that's stepping into the promises. Like you said, the promises of God and knowing who God is and knowing that you have that peace and you have that freedom through him is a mindset thing. But as far as what people do to us as far as the situations we're in, no, we don't always have a choice and sometimes our freedom is taken away. But as far as where you put your mind at, that can really matter of how you handle the situation, how you move forward from that situation. Other freedom and your choice and your reaction. One thing I was thinking about is like if a child was stuck under a situation that their parents did, you know, whether it's a divorce, whether their family's like a drug addict, like there there's been instances where they like kids don't have the option because their parents like did sell them or like sick things, right? So there is moments like that. But the way that they react again is like again mentality, everything, hopefully they're free from all of that. But if they were put in a situation like even for myself, like when you are with parents and they divorced or they did something or they hurt themselves or they took their life, right? Because of mental health or depression or something. It's very, very, very hard to not fall as a victim, right? For children. But I do think that there's going to have to be a point, right? You're going to have to be like, I'm not a victim. I outgrew this and my reaction has everything to do with the way that I'm going to come out of this. So I will say there's just different scenarios. Like let's say if my friend became a drug addict, will I be bound with them? No. Will I be hurt? Yes. But my reaction has everything to do with it, right? There's freedom in my reaction. Now they don't have freedom at that moment, but they can choose to. It's very hard with the help that's up to them. Yeah. I think it reminds me of Joseph in the Bible where he was put in prison because of somebody else's decisions, somebody else's choices. But it was his attitude and it was the way that he navigated through that that essentially brought him the actual freedom. But he was still living free because he was making the best out of the circumstances that he was in. There you go, right? And so beautiful. Thank you. Denise put, you can choose to live afraid that a relationship, job offer, or a health situation won't work out, or you can live in freedom, standing in faith that God is in control. You can choose to live an angry, bitter life due to the pain others have inflicted on you, or you can live in freedom for giving them and letting God make it right. So I mean, there's no better. I don't know that there's another wrap up for that. But what do you think? Anything? No, I think that's really powerful. And yeah, it just goes back to I love that you use Joseph as an example because he was he was literally not free. He was in prison. But it was due to his faithfulness that he in his spirit of excellence towards just I'm going to like we talked about in last episode showing the honor of I'm going to do I'm going to work as unto God. And that's he ended up being the head of that prison. And even the guards looked to him and went to him for advice. And then yeah, from there he broke into freedom. But it just again, mindset, mindset is everything. And I liked how you worded it out in the very beginning. It's like, well, there's a physical thing like I can be in prison because I did something or there's a mindset of freedom. And I think especially nowadays people like to be in that mindset of victim mentality. They're like, oh, if I get like they don't there's that freedom there that you can choose no matter how much wrong has been done to you. But they're just so people get so comfortable in that they're like, well, at least I'm here, I have some pity of something going on for me. And it's just easier and more comforting to choose that for people. Yeah. Yeah, it really is a mindset because, you know, just recently, not to divulge too much and not to jump into this too much. But you know, going through like health things, I've been a lot of my friends are really active and they're able to go out and do all these things. And but then we have this other set of people, right, who don't move their bodies, who aren't healthy, who are who are have the full capability and ability to get out and change their life. And they're constantly complaining like, Oh, I can't do this. So I, oh, you know, like, constantly like talking down on themselves. When in reality, if they would just shift their mindset to under freedom, they would be able to come out of this bondage of whatever's going on in their body and be able to step into, Hey, you know what, today, I'm gonna fight for myself. Today, I'm going to go out for a walk. Today, I'm gonna go and I'm not gonna. Today, I chose a protein burger, you guys. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. So it's things like that, right? And then for me, right? I can just because this has been prevalent in my life right now, but I can either sit here and be like, okay, well, man, like it really sucks that I can't do that. I really wanted to do that. How come I can do that? And then, but then I started thinking, I'm like, but there's other people that can't even do what I'm doing. And so when you start thinking of things and write not to like dog on other people, and but to put yourself in the right perspective, right? It's like, okay, I may not be able to do what I want to do, but I'm going to do what I'm able to do. And in picking and when in choosing that, right, looking at your life as a cup, half full, rather than half empty, dude, like your life is going to completely shift. And so, and even like the world system, right, as far as like we, everybody has to have a job, like we all have to find a way to make money. We all have to have a shelter. We all have to have relationships. We all have to have like the basic necessities, right? This is something that's been in place, been put in place by society. Now there's people that are fine, you know, collecting cans. They're fine collecting cans and just scraping up money to be able to survive until the next day. There's other people that are fine working at fast food restaurants. There's other people that are like, no, like I want more than that. There's other people that are like, no, I don't want a nine to five job. I want to, I want to be able to start my own business. It's how you do the system has been put in place. It's up to you how you want to use the system. And so there's that, right? Like, because you can fall victim to the world system, you can fall victim to the systems that have been put in place, but only, but you can also decide, I'm going to use this, I'm going to use this to my advantage, right? So there's that. Anything else that you guys want to be able to move on to the next question? No, I think that's powerful. I love that you said an example because it goes back to the mindset, right? If we're going to hit that hard, the mindset of freedom, but as you said, like, if you have like a disability or you don't have a luxury that somebody else has or you don't have the finances to do it, figure out your way of doing it. It might look different. It might not look the same way as someone else is doing it, but it's your way of doing it. You're still doing what you love. Like, they have wheelchair Olympics and it's incredible and they're incredibly strong. They're doing far more than I'm able to do. I've seen some of these and I'm just like, I can't do that. And it's incredible, but they found their way of doing it. It might not be the way that everyone else can do it, but they found their, their freedom in that and they, they decided that I'm not going to be held back. I'm still going to enjoy my sports. I'm going to still enjoy competition. And so find your way of doing that. I remember I used to be so embarrassed of going on hikes because I wasn't as good as some of the people that I know, but I had to shift my mentality. But you know what? I can only make it half a mile. I'm going to do half a mile. And then I started growing and then I started doing it my way and I started doing it, shifting it to a level of which I'm comfortable and in a way that I find unique. But yeah, no, I like that mindset. Yeah, exactly how you said mindset. That's my time. Okay, so the next question is, how does this apply in dating? I'll start it off. Okay, so something in there's been a pattern at my family at large, and that is single motherhood. And so with me when I was younger, Ken and I were just talking about this actually, when I was younger, I was like, heck yeah, I'm down for single motherhood. So when I was dating, according to that, I was navigating my relationships according to that. The moment that I came to Christ, and I found freedom from that lie, from that pit of hell where broken families and everything, now I date according to that. So your level of freedom is a level of person that you're going to look for. So as one thing that a doctor that I used to go to, he said, spirits attract spirits, and so your brokenness is going to attract somebody's brokenness, unfortunately, right? And so to me, it's like, okay, if I work on myself, if I improve myself, and of course, it's not a place of perfection, like I'm not looking for somebody that's completely perfect, and I know that I myself am never going to fit full perfection, but working on yourself so that you can attract the right person and you can attract somebody that's healed, healed, and whole to the best that they can be. And so I think when dating also and being able to navigate through relationships and all that, the more that you find freedom, the easier that you become to want to be dated, right? Nobody wants to date somebody that's bitter and sad, like that's, and if you do, then I'm so sorry. They're enablers. Yeah, you're enablers, and you belong on my 600 pound life. At least that's where your head is. Yeah, but don't go there. Today's the day of turn around. What do you ladies think? Oh, I'm so glad you mentioned the freedom and Christ part, because that's honestly finding freedom in Jesus is like the biggest form of freedom, and I know that the Declaration of Independence also includes that. It includes that all men were created equally, and we have unalienable rights, and I hope I said that right, and it is life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. And I'm thankful for that. I think in dating though, finding freedom in Jesus is wholeheartedly going to lead you to a different realm of men or women, depending on if you're a man or woman. And it's also going to leave you to a different profound and better community where you're going to find that support system that you're going to need. And I also think that finding freedom in Jesus, and also self-deliverance, and all of what you can do to find out how you can be as free as possible, is going to not only help your lineage coming forward and bring freedom. I know today, a Rob was talking about how a blessing obviously is going to bless your lineage a thousand times, right? And so those are things that you're going to want to obviously pursue in a spouse. And so dating is going to change completely when you have that mentality, and you have that open mind, and you're no longer broken, because a lot of your reactions are going to come out from your past brokenness, trauma, all of that, if you don't deal with it. And I know that finding freedom, again, in Jesus, it's the most beautiful thing ever. But we literally can do that for anybody else also. So like if you're dating somebody and they're not there yet, just know, just mentioning it. I personally don't think you should be unequally yoked. But if you are, just know that you can be that person, that Jesus that they need. And even just if you break up with them, but just letting them know, like, this is why I'm going on a different path. That's my calling. What I've seen really tell me. I'm just kidding. You might be that person that they need, they needed that person to open their eyes. Yeah. That's really good. You never know. God can't use anybody. God can't use anybody. Yeah, he can. Yeah. Ladies. That's good. As far as freedom in regards to dating, you don't understand the person that you're marrying is you become one flesh with them. And the Bible makes that very clear. And so yeah, when you get married, when you get married, you become one flesh with that person. You're linked together. And it should be with you are vowed together for, you know, till death do us part, right? And so you really need to consider is this someone who's going to walk in freedom with Christ alongside with me or is this someone who's going to put me on bondage of sin? And so that's why it's so important to, and if you can't, if you don't have that in your own life, you're not walking that out in your own life, you're never going to be able to identify it in somebody else's life. And so first step into freedom of Christ, understand what that means, submit to the Lord, tying in last episode in this episode, submit to the Lord. And in submitting to the Lord, you enter into his freedom, which is really a strange dynamic, but a really amazing one when you really learn what that means. And when you can identify what freedom truly looks like in the Lord, then you'll have a far easier, better time identifying that freedom in somebody else's life. And unfortunately, like in my case, like I didn't enter into freedom, I entered when my husband, my ex husband, did the things that he did that causes divorce, I was tied in with that bondage. I was even though I wasn't the one doing anything wrong, there was a consequence as if I was because I was one pleasure then, you know? And so I say that it's just like as actually as a joyful thing, because stepping into that freedom of Christ, breaking free from that bondage through his word, because I didn't leave him without biblical rights, it was submitting to the Lord that brought me to freedom on the other side. And so that's what just be how I would tie freedom and dating together is step into the freedom of the Lord by submitting to the Lord. And in that you'll be able to identify the person that the Lord has for you. And if they're walking into that freedom, yeah, and so they got, I like it, but they guys are reminds me of just like the concept of living a legacy, right? Like what do you want your legacy to be? Do you want one to be of holiness? Or do you want one to be of yeah brokenness? I can't. I really just agree with what everybody said, everything, whatever you have, even as you're dating, you bring into that marriage, right? Whatever this other person has, you're going to bring it to your marriage, like, and it kind of like what yes, he said, it's coming into your family line, it's coming into your generations, like, do you want that? Do you know? Yeah, you know, it affects it. It does. It does. Also, in your freedom, you bless others. The song in my head right now, I'm dancing shikage, you know. I was reading the book in Luke 19 and it's a very short story of Zacchaeus. But when you really like dig deep into it, right? Zacchaeus, his first initial steps of seeking Christ was when he climbed that tree. He was a wealthy man. Yes, he was a thief, but he was a wealthy man and well-known and well-heated. But he could have stayed in his house, right? That's one big thing. But he chose to go where they said Jesus was. And so he climbed that sycamore tree to see Jesus because he was a wee little man, which is short. And so he couldn't see Jesus. And so then out of everybody, Jesus is the one that saw him. And could he have been embarrassed to do this, right? A wealthy man climbing the tree because he's short in front of everybody he stole from. I'm sure he was. But when Jesus said he's like, "Hey, I'm gonna go and you're gonna be, I'm gonna be your guest today." And he went and he just spent some time with him. With that time that Zacchaeus spent with Jesus and he was able to host him, he was transformed, right? Immediately, like completely changed his life around. Whatever he stole, he gave back four times as much. So he blessed other people because not only did he bless them with four times as much, like these people were like, "Wow, that was an investment." But he also donated half of his belongings to the poor. So in his transformation and him receiving freedom from Jesus, he was to bless the community around him. He was able to bless those he stole from. He was able to bless Jesus because that obviously is going to make Jesus' heart so happy just to know that this person is following him, hold heartedly and loving other people the way that Jesus loves them. So I think, and seeing himself in a different way, seeing himself as worthy and free, instead of seeing himself as like a person that nobody liked, nobody wanted, so he continued to do his actions and stay in sin. So I say all of this to say it's really, really, really awesome to see when you are free that you not only bless those around you, but you can also bless the nation. You can bless everybody around here. I think you just gave the formula too of how to step into that freedom through that story. First stepping out in faith, right? Like he didn't hide in shame. He could have, he could have been like, "Oh, like this is going to hide the people." I'm not going to go near him, he's going to judge me, I don't want that. But no, he stepped out in faith, he climbed that tree, he made himself seen. And right, like upon accepting the message of the Lord, he immediately gave up like everything. He returned everything that he stole four times over and he gave up half his stuff and it's funny to say like he stepped into freedom by giving up things and he gave up his bondage. He gave up the bondage of sin. He stopped doing everything. Yeah, that greed, everything. And that's how he stepped into freedom was he had to let go, he had to give up and he had to give away. And I think that story, you bring up that story, you're so perfect because it just shared the how. How do we step into that freedom? Give up your sin. Bottom line, give up your sin, understand that God loves you and giving up the things that you hold so dear and that feel good and that make you feel good. Or that give you some kind of status, giving it up is actually helping you step into freedom. So God's not saying it, telling you to give certain things up because he hates you or because he's just trying to, you know, make you angry or even just test you for the sake of testing you. He's putting you in a position, he's asking you to choose him, he's asking you to choose his freedom because he loves you. Yes. All right, you guys, with that being said, have a happy fourth of July. Be safe. We hope that you're going to the rodeo, roving at six for a cowboy. I'm just kidding. We're over the gal boys until the next episode. No, but an on on the sea, it's such a beautiful holiday that we're celebrating today. And I love it. I love being able to be around people where we're just so grateful for the nation that we're living in. And so we hope that you have an awesome day with your family. We hope that you have an awesome time out in the sun. And we hope that you don't have to work tomorrow so that you can have a four day weekend. And if you do, I hope that it goes by fast. All right, you guys have a great weekend. Have a great holiday and stay blessed. Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep. Thank you for listening. If you liked this episode or we answered any of your questions, or you have a question that you would like to be discussed in future episodes, let us know in the comments or share on social media. And be sure to hit subscribe so you won't miss out on the amazing content and guests we have lined up for you. Shalom and God bless.

Happy Fourth of July! ✨ 🇺🇸

The girls and I answer the questions given by our followers:

What's the best piece of advice we've received regarding dating?
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